If you were gone I don't know where I'd be- Thompson Square

"If I Didn't Have You"

Sometimes it feels like, I'm gonna break
Sometimes this world, gives more than I can take
Sometimes, sunshine gets lost in the rain
And it keeps pouring down
It just keeps coming down.
This life would kill me If I didn't have you
I couldn't live without you baby
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cuz this life would kill me
This life would kill me if I didn't have you.
You are my heart, every breath I breathe
I'm safe in your arms, you rescue me.
When I'm weak, you're strong
If you were gone I don't know where I'd be
You were made for me
(You were made for me)
This life would kill me If I didn't have you
I couldn't live without you baby
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cuz this life would kill me
This life would kill me if I didn't have you
If you didn't love me so much
(If you didn't love me so much)
This Life would kill me If I didn't have you
(This life would kill me)
Couldn't live without you baby
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cuz This life would kill me
This Life would kill me if I didn't have you 

I have listened to this song so many times. Sometimes when I listen to it I think of Wes and how much I love him. Then I get to the lyric that says, "This life would kill me if I didn't have you." Well, I no longer have him and I'm still alive. I know I will always have him in my heart. I will always have his presence because of Trent. Sometimes when I hear this song I think of my friends and family that have stuck by my side during this heart ache. I really am a lucky person to have such amazing people in my life. I have 6 amazing parents. Yes, I said 6. My mom and my dad have always been there, and encouraged me along the way. Then I was blessed with 2 amazing step-parents. I am the kind of mom I am, because my step-parents taught me how to love a child as my own no matter what relation. As an adult I have been so lucky to have a mother-in-law, who I call Mom, and a father-in-law that treat me like I've always been part of the family. There are several people out there who don't have 1 parent to lean on and I have 6. Then there are my siblings. Blood, step, or by marriage, it doesn't matter. I love each of them and would do anything for them. They certainly are always there for me. Then I have my friends. Wes and I are so lucky to have such amazing friends. My friends have been there to make me laugh, dry my tears, distract me from my struggles when necessary, encourage me when times get tough, and they are always there to listen. Such amazing friends and family. I honestly don't know where I would be without them. 

      Then there is my boy, Trent. I cannot explain the love I have for him. I know I came into his life when he was five, and I missed out on the baby years, but I feel like he is a piece of me. I never knew you could love another person so much. I loved Wes in a different way, but I can honestly say that I have never loved someone as much as I love my son. He is the reason I get up everyday, the reason I want a good life, the reason I have to find a way to go on without Wes. He is the reason for my everything. He is the kindest and most loving person I have ever known. He is so smart, and determined. He is developing his father's sense of humor, which I love. He is the sunshine in my storm of a life. He is the reason I kept going when Wes left this place. He makes me want to be a better person every day, and always strive to be the best mother I can. He is so sincere and empathetic. One day, he is going to make one lucky lady an amazing husband. I know without a doubt that Wes is proud of his son. I will do everything in my power to provide the life that Wes wanted for Trent. Wes had high hopes and big dreams for Trent. I know my boy will have no problem making those hopes and dreams come true. I always hear people say that you never know what love is until you have a child. They were right. It is an indescribable love. A love that can heal a broken heart, and give hope for a good future.

A proud mom,

Stella