Sometimes my life seems bitter. Sometimes I seem bitter. I guess it just comes with the territory. Not a territory I would have chosen to occupy, but it is the one I was given. I have to make the best of it. I try to focus on the positive things in my life. Things like Trent, my friends, and my family. Those low times I feel, I just walk outside and sit on my porch or walk around my yard. I love my house and my yard. It's special, because it was Wes' dream home. Every time we drove by this house he would talk about how much he loved it. He would say that when we won the lottery we would make the owners an offer they couldn't refuse. And now, I own it. It has been my safe haven in this storm of my life. It is the "sweet spot" of my "lemon drop." I feel closer to Wes in this house than I have felt any where else in the past year. He never even lived here, but his presence is all around. They say that home is where your heart is. Well, home is where my Wes is. I feel him the the oaks that surround my house, I feel him in the constant breeze that graces my yard, and I feel him in the creaks of my 60 year old floor. On a hard day I can't wait to get home and feel Wes all around.
"My life is like a lemon drop, I'm sucking on the bitter to get to the sweet spot. I know there'll be better days ahead. Thank God." -Pistol Annies
STILL wishing I was a country star,
Stella
Stella,
ReplyDeleteYou amaze me. Although I cannot fathom what you went through, I loved reading your blogs. You are an inspiration to others and I know your story will encourage someone or many someones. You are so right when you say death makes you look at life differently. After dad died, I had a passion for life. As you said...if you want to do something do it. If you love someone, tell them. That is one reason I went back to school to get my Masters in Counseling, so that I can help people like Dad who suffered from alcoholism, or someone like myself that experienced a loved one dying. I cannot imagine losing my husband and I commend you on the strength you have and the mother you are to Trent. You're an amazing person and one day you will look back and understand. As one person told me before, God is weaving a beautiful picture of your life, but all we see is the back that is all tied up with knots and tangles of string; however, he sees the front perfectly and it's beautiful. Sending Love, Mary (Keating) East
Thank you Mary. My picture is definitely tangled right now. One weird thing...this has made me go back to get my Masters in Counseling too! I am in my 2nd class right now. Thank you for the encouragement.
Delete